A Short Introduction to Everything that Follows

The following pages provide the data that led me to my understanding of consciousness, reality and experience.

After my experience I felt stigmatised and excluded from any rational conversation as a result. Short of laying out the entirety of my story, I only had symbolic language to articulate the structure of my experience. Not only was my story incredibly long since it was basically covering my entire life, but laying out the entirety of it wasn't a guarantee that people would see the patterns. 

My experience was a lot to process, and difficult to navigate, as it involved what transpersonal psychology defines as a spiritual emergence, followed by a traumatic textbook Jungian archetypal activation that resulted in suspended reality, severe memory loss, and dissociation for the following decade. 

I found myself unable to talk about it in what society considers to be a socially palatable manner which translated into an inability to connect with people. 

While my experience was similar in texture with other experiences of its kind - Kundalini awakenings for example - the difference in symbolic register, as a result of the experiences being filtered through different cultural contexts, made me feel excluded even from these communities. So, basically, my experience was too irrational sounding for mainstream society, but I had the wrong kind of symbolic language for spiritual communities. 

I was left completely alone in that gap with no support system of any kind having to navigate an existentially charged experience while completely disconnected from myself due to the effects of the trauma. I constantly found myself analysing and trying to understand it from various perspectives, as I looked for frameworks that could help explain it. 

The first moment I felt that maybe my experience wasn't doomed to earn me the 'mentally unstable' label was the moment I discovered a thesis on spiritual emergency, which introduced me to the concept of spiritual emergence as well. This was when I learned that spiritual emergence is a recognised human phenomenon.

Jung's work was invaluable to the understanding I have today, although I did end up diverging from his understanding. Prior to my experience I was only vaguely familiar with his work, and whatever more I know today it was because I needed his work to survive. 

This being said, while Jungian theories, archetypal activation, and the process of individuation were valuable for the symbolic register of my experience, I also felt they were insufficient. I always understood I could see a structure and dynamic as a result of my experience, but I didn't yet know how to articulate it beyond the symbolic language. 

The following is the account of my lived experience with what is culturally labelled as precognition, spiritual emergence, archetypal activation, my navigation of the aftermath from a fragmented state of consciousness, and the ways in which it all shattered and shaped my understanding of reality. 

Disclaimer: This website reflects my personal memories, perceptions, and interpretations of past events. All ideas are my own, and names and identifying details have been changed.